Although I am a personal development blogger by profession, I am in no way a mental health professional. See my disclaimer for more info.
Having friends (and being a good one) is essential to your well-being. Here are my top tips on how to be a good friend and secure bestie status.
Friends are some of the most important people in our lives. They cheer us up when we’re feeling down, they stick with us through thick and thin, and they’re ultimately people that we can always count on to be there for us.
But what good is this if you don’t have good, loyal, respectable friends? I’ve had my fair share of friends — good ones, not-so-good ones, and all in between. Inspired by these experiences with these people, I decided to make a list of traits that make you a good friend.
Not to toot my own horn, but I believe I’m a pretty good friend. You have to remember that, in order to expect something from someone else, you must put that energy out in the universe. I want to share some of these must-have traits and encourage you to work on them so you can strengthen your friendships!
Why? Because nothing’s better than a true, strong, long-lasting friendship! If you’re ready, go ahead and keep reading along!
THIS POST IS ALL ABOUT HOW TO BE A GOOD FRIEND.
How to Be a Good Friend:
1. Always be willing to listen
As a friend, you should always be willing to listen. No matter the severity of the topic at hand, you should strive to be an active listener. Nobody wants to be friends with someone who they feel they aren’t being heard from.
Trust me — it’s not very fun!
2. Be on their side, but don’t hesitate to call them out
This may be a bit controversial. Some of you might support your bestie on any decision. Others of you don’t hesitate to call your friends out when they’re in the wrong.
You see, a true friend will absolutely not hesitate to call you out. After all, a friend is supposed to help you become a better person. And they can’t exactly do that if they don’t hold you accountable.
3. Call to check up on them, especially during hard times
This is one of the most important yet most underrated traits!
Call your friends and check up on them. They could be going through the worst stage of their life and I’m sure a simple phone call could make a world’s of a difference.
I know because I’ve been there before — except I didn’t have anyone to rely on.
So, make sure you check up on your friends. Some people are good at hiding their hurt, so you really have to be adamant about making sure they’re feeling alright. They’ll really appreciate you for checking on them.
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4. Stand up for them
You should always stand up for your friend. Stand up with them when they’re experiencing hatred or even when someone is talking behind their back. As their friend, it’s your duty to make sure that you protect them by all means necessary.
5. Pay them back
Another possibly controversial take: pay your friends back. In a more general sense, I don’t care who it is; if you borrow some money from someone, you’re responsible for paying them back in due time. I’m sure you’d want your money back, so make sure you’re considerate of their money.
And just because they’re your friend, that’s doesn’t at all mean you have an excuse to play the waiting game and take forever to pay them back. Don’t be that kind of friend!
6. Make sure communication is a two-way path
Communication is essential in every relationship. You can’t be the only one initiating conversations and making efforts to make the friendship work. I’ve experienced this in just about every friendship of mine and, let me tell you; it’s exhausting.
You’ll eventually realize that, if you’re the only one making this effort, perhaps the relationship simply isn’t working out. And maybe that’s for better (or for worse, depending on the circumstance)!
7. Don’t use them
Please, for the love of God, refrain from texting your so-called “bestie” only when you need something. That’s got to be one of the worst traits of a bad friend.
I get it — friends are supposed to rely on each other. And I’m all about that! But don’t let it get to a point where you’re just using them. Do you get what I mean?
8. Support all of their decisions (within reason)
Now, a typical friendship may consist of supporting each other’s decisions, no matter what. But I want to argue that this won’t make for a very healthy friendship.
Like I said earlier, the overall goal of any relationship should be growth. In order to work toward and maintain this goal, you must be willing to be like, “Hey, I don’t think that’s a good idea. Maybe try this instead!”
There’s been many times where I thought about doing something and then I decided not to because my friends told me otherwise.
9. Celebrate their wins
As a friend, you should always celebrate your friend’s wins — whether that’s getting a job promotion, breaking up with a toxic partner, or some other exciting event.
You certainly don’t have to go over the top. I’m sure you know your bestie quite well, so you should be able to come up with a celebration gift!
10. Realize that you don’t always have to be together
This is something that I’ve realized and accepted as I’ve grown older. As children and even teenagers, you think it’s necessary to be with your friend(s) all the time.
However, as you continue to grow and take on more responsibilities, you realize that you don’t need to spend so much time with your bestie. In fact, if you feel like you have to talk every single day to remain friends, perhaps you should reevaluate your friendship.
I know a lot of people go weeks without talking to their friends and they’re still in healthy relationships.
THINK: When was the last time you talked to or saw your bestie? Tell me in the comments!
11. Don’t people-please them into doing something
One thing you should NEVER do to your friend (or anyone, for that matter) is people-please them into doing something they don’t feel comfortable doing. This could be anything from making them take a shot to encouraging them to flirt with their crush.
If they don’t want to do it, then leave it at that. No means exactly that, okay?!
Sure, you’re free to do whatever you want by yourself, but that doesn’t mean you have to encourage others to do the same. We’re simply too old to force someone to do something they don’t want to do!
Let’s recap!
We made it to the end of the post!
Today, we talked about how to be a good friend.
I believe that, in order to expect something out of someone, you have to give them that same energy. I hope this post gave you some ideas on how to strenghten your friendships! They’re some of the most important relationships in our lives.
Please remember to take time to take care of yourself!
I know, in this economy, it can be hard to find free things to do that are fun. That’s why I put together a list of 7 free self care activities to enjoy today!
In the midst of chaos, don’t forget to smile,
DeMarcus – your self care buddy
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