Although I am a personal development blogger by profession, I am in no way a mental health professional. See my disclaimer for more info.
Comparison is the ultimate thief of all good things. Read to learn how to stop comparing yourself to others and boost self-confidence.
How often do you compare yourself to other people?
Comparison is tender. Sometimes it’s for better, and other times it’s for worse. The common saying, “Comparison is the thief of joy,” goes around for a good reason. When you compare yourself to someone, you fail to acknowledge and appreciate your special qualities, strengths, and talents.
Over time, this can harm your mental health and other aspects of your life. I don’t want that happening to you, so I’m going to teach you how to stop comparing yourself and find the beauty in self-love and self-appreciation.
Are you ready? Let’s get into it!
THIS POST IS ALL ABOUt how to stop comparing yourself to others.
Why do we compare ourselves to others?
So, why do we compare ourselves to others, anyway? Well, here are a few reasons:
- We feel like we should be at a different point in our lives
- We don’t feel secure in ourselves and the things & people we have in our lives
- We desire something that somebody else has
- We have a low self-esteem
Why shouldn’t we compare ourselves?
There are numerous reasons that we should avoid comparing ourselves to others, including:
1. you could reach a point of burnout, fast
If you’re constantly comparing yourself to someone else, you’ll eventually get tired of doing that. You’ll also get tired of trying to compare your work to theirs and feel burnt out form trying to improve your work.
RELATED POST —How to Avoid Burnout: 9 Must-Know Tips to Stay Productive
2. YOUR PRODUCTIVITY LEVELS COULD DROP
Rather than focusing on being productive, you’re worried about what the other person is over there achieving. Instead, you could put all that time and thought into your own life.
Realistically (and respectfully), they probably don’t know who you are anyway!
RELATED POST — 20 Essential Tips on How to Be Productive (The Right Way)
3. You might forget about your strengths
Comparison prevents you from realizing and appreciating how unique you truly are.
When you compare yourself, you tend to forget about your strengths, as you’re too focused on comparing your weaknesses to someone else’s strengths.
Instead of doing this, take some time to think about the things that you’re already good at.
4. Your mental health might take a toll
Comparison is truly the thief of happiness, progress, and success. You can’t be happy if you’re too worried about what someone else is doing.
If anything, you should “slow” comparison because you’re going to do it naturally. BUT, you want to do it less. This will allow you to grow in all aspects of your life.
Now that we’ve covered the basics, allow me to give you some tips to “slow” comparison!
Some of them are more immediate and others are more long-term. But they’ll all work together to help you become more confident in yourself and your unique abilities and talents.
How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others:
1. Realize that comparison is a part of human nature
Look, I know you might not want to hear this, but comparison is actually normal. Now, that doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s always a good thing, but it’s important to realize that it’s natural.
It’s going to happen regardless of how content you feel. And it happens both negatively and positively.
In a positive light, it allows you to test and improve your strengths, and even develop new skills. It motivates you to be a better version of yourself, which should always be your ultimate goal in life.
On the flip side, comparison gets shaky when you fail to realize your good qualities and tear yourself down. This harms your mental health, which is why you need to change your mindset.
2. Change your mindset
What if you changed your mindset about comparison?
Instead of being spiteful to someone, look at them as a source of inspiration. You don’t have to envy someone just because you look up to them. That’s some false hatred and it’s not a good look on anyone.
They have the habits, mindset, and skills that you’re actively working to develop. It’s OK — and encouraged — to look up to them. This is a much better alternative to straight-up comparison.
Let me spell it out for you if you don’t understand: competitor < peer.
I used to look at my fellow personal development creators as competitors. With business, that tends to happen. But with the nature of my blog and a genuine likeness of their content, I had to change my mindset.
I’ve grown to look at them as peers and as a source of inspiration. They already have the audience and content that I aspire to have, so I like to use that as my motivating force to keep moving forward.
It’s healthy competition!
3. Realize that someone will always be better at something than you
This might be hard to come to terms with but someone will always be better at something than you.
Not better THAN you; nobody is better than anyone. No amount of money, fame, possessions or anything of the sort can make one individual better or more important than the next.
So, if that’s what you were thinking, you’ve got the wrong idea.
What I mean is, there will always be someone who has more knowledge, skills, and experience than you. But you know what? That’s okay!
4. Be comfortable with your insecurities
Comparison usually stems from a place of insecurity. Insecurity in one’s looks, financial situation, relationship status, valuables, and so much more.
So, naturally, the solution is to work on your insecurities. Accept the fact that you just can’t change certain things about yourself. In a way, this can provide you a sense of comfort.
Knowing that you can’t change a certain quality about yourself allows you to grow to nurture and appreciate it.
For things that you can change, though, it definitely won’t be easy. It’s going to take hard internal work, dedication, and time to be comfortable with your insecurities.
But it’s SO worth it, so please take the time to do so — no matter how long it takes!
5. Do some self-evaluating
It’s time to do some deep internal work. Dig deep and ask yourself some self-reflection questions.
Why are you comparing yourself?
I feel that asking such a simple yet deep question will really get you thinking and realize that what you’re doing is unnecessary.
RELATED POST —84 Powerful Journal Prompts for Self-Growth
6. Focus on your strengths
Sure, you could worry all day about the things you’re not so great at. But what good is that going to do?
Instead, shift all of that time and energy toward focusing on your strengths.
What are you good at? What aspects about yourself are you proud of? What’s a quality of yours that other people can look up to and learn from?
You’ll be shocked how much this boosts your confidence!
7. Practice gratitude
Practice gratitude and show your appreciation to God or the universe for your accomplishments. Instead of worrying about what you don’t have, focus on being grateful for what you’ve already got in front of you.
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8. Be aware of and avoid your triggers
What are your triggers for comparison? What or is it that you’re comparising yourself to?
Is it someone on social media? If this is the case, block the person — whether it’s on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, TikTok, or some other social media platform.
If, for whatever reason, you don’t want to block them, scroll past their content when you come across it.
RELATED POST —Ultimate Guide: How to Do a Social Media Cleanse (And Not Feel Bored) in 10 Easy Steps
9. Realize that you’re unique
You’re probably tired of hearing the whole, “You’re so unique and you should embrace that” scheme but I advise that you tap into your uniquness.
Seriously, what about you makes you unique? Don’t let that go to waste. Once you embrace your unique traits, you’ll start to thrive won’t let anyone get in the way of your happiness.
Show the world what you’ve got. Nobody has it like you do. Sure, there could be thousands of other people doing the same thing. Or maybe something similar.
But absolutely nobody — and I mean nobody — can do it the exact same way. Your unique personality and skills will attract a specific group of people.
The way you approach your job or craft will draw people to you. People that are just like you! That’s what makes you special!
Sure, you could go and read someone else’s post on this very topic. But, they probably wouldn’t have the same approach, experience, or writing style as I do. These different things are what makes this post special.
Please realize that there’s nobody else like you. Your:
- Personality
- Hobbies
- Interests
- Beliefs
- Values
- Opinions
- Religion
- Political views
- Ethnicity
all make you a unique individual, so tap into that unique aspect and figure out how you can make the best of it.
THINK: What is your favorite trait of yours? Tell me in the comments!
10. Ask for and receive feedback
You might be comparing your work to someone else’s in your field because you don’t think that it meets the standards — whether yours or someone elses.
I want you to ask for feedback from the people that you respect. This could be a friend, family member, or even someone professional like a coach or mentor.
Make sure that you actually respect their opinion and can positively benefit from the advice that they give you.
A few months into the launch of my blog, I was steady looking for ways to improve different parts of my business, like marketing, making digital products, and writing posts.
I came across a lifestyle blogger named Taylor Stanford, who offers a 30-day mentor program through text messaging. I KNEW I had to take advantage of this life-changing opportunity.
So, I started messaging her and a month later, my blogging knowledge and skills grew massively. I didn’t compare myself to my peers because I was so focused on my own blog.
And I don’t think the process could’ve gone any better!
11. Avoid the source of comparison
Sometimes it’s just better to avoid what’s causing this comparison.
Whether it’s your next-door neighbor or someone on social media, you can simply ignore them. It’s crucial to protect your peace and take care of your mental health.
Simply avoid the source and I PROMISE you’ll notice a difference.
12. Continue to research and learn
You’re probably comparing yourself professionally if you feel like you’re not at the same level of expertise or knowledge as someone else in your field.
You have to be reasonable with yourself. Of COURSE you’re not gonna know as much as them if you’re only at the beginning of your journey.
Keep learning and researching as you go. You’ll eventually be as intelligent as you desire to be! Yes, it’s good that you aspire to improve upon your skills and continue to learn.
But you’ve got to focus on the now. Don’t worry about what’s happening in the future — you don’t even know what’s going to happen!
13. You’re comparing your lows to someone’s highs
Have you ever realized that you’re comparing one part of your journey to someone else’s?
You’re probably at the very beginning of your career. Meanwhile, your coworker has been doing this thing for a while.
And they’re quite good at it, too. It doesn’t even make sense for you to compare because you’re both at 2 different points of your journeys.
14. Stop the negative thoughts immediately
When those negative thoughts are circulating in your head, you can go down a hole really fast.
As soon — and I mean as SOON — as you find yourself having a comparison type of thought, shut it up. Think of your strengths instead. Or even think of something totally unrelated to the topic.
Whatever you do, don’t allow that negative thought to take over you.
15. Compare yourself to yourself
To end on a happy note, consider this:
Compare yourself to yourself. This is the absolute thing to do. If you’re going to compare yourself to someone, let that someone be yourself.
Why? Because you know yourself best and it allows you to build on your strengths. When you do this, it’s like a mental challenge to just keep doing better and better.
Let’s recap!
We made it to the end of the post!
Today, we talked about how to stop comparing yourself to others.
Comparison can be the thief of joy, but it doesn’t have to be. Take some of these tips and implement them in your life to avoid comparison.
Please remember to take time to take care of yourself!
I know, in this economy, it can be hard to find free things to do that are fun. That’s why I put together a list of 7 free self care activities to enjoy today!
In the midst of chaos, don’t forget to smile,
DeMarcus – your self care buddy
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